Doing Things Differently
by Star24
Summary: What if Logan had done things differently that first year? M/L of course.
1. Beginnings

__

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't profit from them but if JC would give them to me I'd do much better by them than has been done in S2.

A/N This is inspired by Logan's words to Max at the end of Borrowed Time – "If I had that time back I'd do things so differently". Takes place first season - what if he had done some things differently?

"Things are different now – the gun is loaded." When Bling said that to me today I about dropped in my tracks. Good thing my back was to him or he would have caught the immediate automatic reaction my body had to the thoughts that conjured up. Of course knowing Bling he probably knew what my reaction would be and said it just to provoke it. He proceeded to spend the rest of this afternoon harassing me about Max and didn't leave until he had managed to drive me into a complete state of nerves, so much so that I managed to cut my finger while slicing vegetables, something I haven't done in years. So now I sit here waiting for Max to show and trying not to think of what tonight may bring between the two of us.

The first time I saw her it was like I took a punch in the gut. She was robbing my place and I was holding a gun on her. I thought she was one of Sonrisa's people come to take out Lauren but when she turned and her eyes met mine all rational thoughts fled and it was all I could do to come up with anything coherent to say. Looking into her eyes was like coming home somehow. I didn't know who or what she was but I knew deep inside that she and I were meant to meet and be together. That's why after she dove out of my window I refused to let her go but instead went searching for her.

I'll never forget the first time I kissed her – the night she came to my place fuming over the fact that I had broken into her apartment and left her the Bast. I didn't intend to but when I had her there in front of the mirror and she turned her head back to face me I found myself pulled irresistibly towards her lips. I swear I felt a spark of electricity as our lips met and for a moment she returned my kiss. Then, as I started to put my arms around her to pull her in for a deeper kiss, she broke free and pulled back.

"No way." she declared. "Just 'cause you're some bored rich boy who thinks it might kick to fuck a cat burglar doesn't mean I'm going to oblige you. You can't buy me with a statue and some pretty words. It's been fun but I'm out of here." She whirled to leave and out of desperation I grabbed her hair and pulled it up exposing her barcode.

"You can leave Max but I know who you are." I said desperate to keep her there. She stopped dead at that as I expanded and told her I knew about Manticore and the fact that she was one of the '09 escapees. It wasn't the time for more so I dropped back into my cynical cyber journalist persona and we talked about Manticore and Eyes Only. She still ended up storming out but at least it wasn't over my making a pass at her. I wasn't going to give up, but then came the shooting and me ending up in this fucking wheelchair. Kind of put a damper on any romantic plans I might have wanted to try with her but on the positive side it brought her back. It might have been out of guilt but at least she was around and I had a chance to get to know her and to let her get to know me. She reminded me of an unbroken filly, skittish and shy, so I got smarter and took things much more slowly, not making any moves that might send her running again. 

Over time she became more comfortable with me especially after I found Hannah Secova for her and then bailed her out when Lydecker came close to catching her and Hannah. She was there for me when my friend and mentor was killed because I was stupid enough to let his daughter play me, and we were there for each other when my ex-wife and her brother both dropped us flat on our respective asses.

Then came the genetics conference. When Bling had me turn on the television and I saw what was happening all I could think of was Max, held hostage by those fanatics. I pretended I was being the hero for all of the women and children there but in reality all I cared about was Max and getting her out of there alive. Naturally it backfired and instead of my rescuing her she dove off a rooftop and rescued me. For long moments we swung crazily from that rope until she managed somehow to guide us into the window and miraculously onto that hotel room bed. 

After the initial rush of relief and then anger had subsided she was leaning over me, as I laid there flat on my back. Her face was so close I could fell her breath brushing my face, smelling faintly of cherries. On impulse I yanked the rope that was still around her waist and caught off guard she fell forward landing full on top of me. For the second time our lips met and this time she didn't pull back immediately. Instead for what seemed an eternity but was probably only seconds her lips moved gently on mine and I reveled in the softness and sweetness of their touch. Then, reluctantly it seemed, she sat up.

"Better go save the kid"

"Gotta go save the kid"

We said simultaneously and that was that. Our eyes met as she untied the rope around her waist then rose to leave but neither of us had anything to say. She turned just before she left the room and looked like she was going to say something but then thought better of it and quickly left. Good thing because right at that moment I wasn't sure what to say to her. Inwardly I was rejoicing that she hadn't flat out rejected me but I had no idea of what to say to her about it.

Next time I saw her it was a crisis mode over her sister and I got to meet her brother, Zack, who obviously took a hatred to me on first sight. Max might think of him as a brother, but as a man I could tell his feelings towards her were anything but brotherly. He challenged me over her and I let him know that I wasn't about to back down from Max. I've denied the feelings for months to Bling but I wasn't playing any games with Zack. The alpha male coming out in me? Maybe.

Somehow we never did get around to talking about that second kiss although a couple of times I caught Max watching me when she thought I wasn't looking. She had a considering look in her eyes but I wasn't about to push it too fast and send her running again. I regretted that when Lydecker put out an APB on her and it seemed she was going to have to leave Seattle for good. At the same time I had my own problem to deal with, a migrating bullet fragment and dangerous surgery to remove it. Realizing I might not ever come out from under the anesthesia I decided it was best she leave without knowing. It was probably the hardest decision I've ever made in my life, and it became even harder when we arrived at my uncle's cabin. 

Zack went ahead inside leaving us to say our farewells. We managed to keep it pretty cool until Max was on her way to the cabin steps. Suddenly she turned, and before I knew what was happening, her lips were on mine and she was kissing me with a passion and feeling I had only dreamt of someday sharing with her. I never wanted that kiss to stop but in the end we had no choice. Our eyes locked once again and then I pushed her away gently telling her to go. 

She came back though and saved my life again, this time with her miraculous transgenic blood. In the process we shared (I know we did) a marvelous dream where we danced together holding each other close to the soft sad strains of Sibelius' Valse Triste. Afterwards we still didn't talk about it but the look in her eyes when she visited me in the hospital was all I needed to see to know that I had somehow broken through those high walls she has around her emotions. Now all I needed to do was figure out how to get her to admit to it.

__

A/N Sorry this has started off rather slow but it will pick up as it goes along. The real difference in Logan's actions will come from TKAA on but they are based on the small ones I'm setting up here.

One more thing – please support NBML and send those letters and cards to Fox – we need our hero and heroine back and in character.


	2. Moving Right Along

__

A/N: Thanks for the kind reviews. I'm enjoying writing this S1 Max and Logan were magical and I miss that magic. Writing this brings it back to me a little bit.

Thanks to those who have said they are joining in on the NBML Campaign to Fox.In the words of my personal hero, "Together who knows?"

Ding ding ding…. the soft chiming of the oven timer breaks into my thoughts and I head out to the kitchen to check on the Poulet chez Cale that I am preparing for Max. Much to my chagrin I realize that in the midst of Bling's teasing I forgot to turn on the oven. Thank god I set the timer to remind me to baste the thing, something I rarely do but with my state of mind today I thought it was a good idea. Max will be here in less than an hour and the chicken hasn't even begun to cook. I think rapidly and then decide on my plan of action. Who ever said dinner had to be served early? Tonight we dine fashionably late. Max however will be looking for some kind of food when she arrives so I open my refrigerator and quickly scan its shelves. Spotting some cheese, onions and a loaf of bread I remember one of my mom's emergency fallbacks when faced with unexpected company.

Pulling out the bread I quickly cut the crusts off several slices and then cut them into four small squares each. Then I layer cheese and onions on each piece and place them on a cookie sheet. When Max arrives, 5 minutes under the broiler and we have toasted cheese squares to nibble on while waiting for dinner to finish. Disaster averted I walk to the window and gaze out over the city my thoughts drifting back to Max once again…

Once I returned from the hospital Eyes Only really heated up and I didn't have much time to spend with Max. My obsession resulted in a disaster of a dinner date with her, ending in the worst fight we've ever had. I then proceeded to almost get myself killed but in the end Max saved my ass and we ended up back on an even keel. Maybe it was all the result of nerves on my part. The stress of the operation and the roller coaster ride of my emotions over Max were getting to me I think. I have never been a patient man and the need to move slowly with her was taking its toll.

After that I thought it better to back off a bit and let the memory of our kiss and shared dream work it's own way through her head. Patience I kept reminding myself, was the key to Max. All of her conditioning screamed to her to stay uninvolved and unemotional. Too much too fast and that conditioning would kick in and she would be gone. So I kept it strictly business when I finally did contact her to ask her to protect a witness against Edgar Sonrisa. I never expected that witness to be Bruno Anselmo and seeing him again triggered a shitload of emotions I though I had gotten beyond. In the end Bruno ended up dead anyway and his importance faded in the light of a new threat to Max. Amped up super soldiers out to get their hands on her. I could see that she was afraid and I was surprised when she actually admitted it to me as I cleaned the cuts and scrapes she picked up in her fight with them. 

All I wanted to do right then and there was gather her into my arms and tell her that I wasn't about to let anyone get their hands on her but it still wasn't the right time. Instead we sat together on my couch and watched an old movie together. Max seemed to draw comfort from just being there. After I while I actually caught her yawning. 

"Thought you didn't need sleep?" I teased.

"I don't sleep a lot," she corrected. "Dunno, maybe fighting the soldier boys combined with putting up with the slime ball for two days was just too much. I should go home and crash I guess." Despite her words she made no move to get up and leave so, emboldened, I dropped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her over to rest on my chest. 

"Take a nap here. I don't mind. No sense you driving around avoiding the Sector cops this late." I was holding my breath waiting for her to pull away and jump up but instead she sighed and settled in curling closer.

"Mmm. I shouldn't but I really am dead and you don't make a half bad pillow." With that she closed her eyes and I sat there smiling to myself as I gently ran my fingers through an errant strand of her hair. I dozed off myself after a while and when I woke up she was gone but I smiled to myself at the progress I was making. 

The memory of that night gave me the courage to ask her to my cousin's wedding. I always knew Max was beautiful but the sight of her in that red dress took my breath away. I wanted to forget the whole wedding thing at that moment and just take her away with me somewhere, anywhere, and let her know how I felt about her. But I didn't and in an effort to control myself and not scare her off I spent the wedding with my ex-fiancée Daphne. Didn't really matter anyway since Max's boss got himself into a jam involving some thugs and a stolen Rockwell and Max was absent most of the affair bailing him out. 

Afterwards she managed to completely surprise me by handing me my mother's locket, neatly stolen from right off my aunt's neck. I think that was the moment I put a name to the feelings I had for her and realized that somewhere along the way I had fallen in love with her. Before I could gather myself together enough to do anything she was gone and I had my second surprise of the night. Feeling in my foot when I accidentally hit it against the table leg. 

Over the next few days more and more feeling came back to my legs and I finally visited Sam Carr to get a medical opinion. He wasn't optimistic but he did tell me about the excess stem cells in my blood. Max picked up on it immediately when I told her and suggested trying another transfusion. Sitting there at that table with her, her blood flowing into my veins was the most incredible experience in my life. Not even when making love with a woman have I ever felt so connected and so much a part of another person. The fact that it was Max sharing her blood with me like that was almost too much for me to wrap my head around. 

In then end that transfusion may have saved her life. Without it I probably could never have pulled myself up to reach that light switch and throw it giving her time to get away from Johansen's bullet. I still almost lost her to the implant and those moments after blowing the electricity into her head were the longest in my life. 

We shared our fourth kiss that next night. As I stood there looking down at her she looked up at me and laughed saying

"I'd forgotten how tall you are." I felt 10 feet tall at that moment and, unable to resist, leaned in and our lips met. All thoughts of patience fled my mind and I'm not sure where things would have ended up if my still shaky legs hadn't given out on me. Max helped me back into my chair but we shared a long look that promised more to come. 

Unfortunately the interruption allowed Max's flight response to kick in but to my surprise instead of just taking off on her own she invited me to come and actually let me drive her baby. I felt like I was flying that night, not just from the speed but from the sensation of Max's arms wrapped tight around me, her body pressed close against my back and her breath in my ear as she shouted instructions. Max never lets anyone drive her Ninja and the fact that she let me spoke volumes to me of her feelings. I was still on a high when we got back and as she brought my chair over to the bike and reached out to help me back into it I grabbed her and pulled her down for another quick kiss. Her hands came up and she ran her fingers through my hair as our lips met. To my surprise I felt her lips part slightly and I dipped my tongue into the sweetness of her mouth. We continued for a few moments until she pulled back.

"Logan. We need to talk about this. But I can't tonight. Gotta blaze." With that she quickly helped me into my chair and was gone. I shook my head but smiled to myself. Not a bad evening at all. I didn't think I'd see her for a while after that but to my surprise she showed up this morning down by the waterfront to tell me she had dropped off a chicken at my place. I invited her for dinner, as she knew I would and then pulled her over to stand in the freezing water with me. I half expected her to pull back but she didn't and once again I leaned in and kissed her. She responded easily and I found myself beginning to drown in her sweetness only to be interrupted by the damn hover drone. 

Max is paranoid about those things so the mood was ruined and we walked back up the beach both heading back to our daily routines. Except today was different. I didn't get a damn thing done all day and Bling took great pleasure in rubbing that fact in. He finally left and now I stand here waiting for Max. I made a decision today. No more fooling around. She's had her time to get used to the idea of us and judging by her actions lately she's open to the idea. So tonight I push the envelope. Neither one of us leads the most conventional of lives and we don't really know what tomorrow may bring. I'm going to take a chance and put myself out there. It may be too much too fast but my patience is at an end. 

I look at the time and realize Max will be here any moment. Glancing around I check to be sure all is ready and it is. As I start to go to the kitchen to check on the chicken the doorbell rings. Max is here. 


	3. Wine and Cheese

__

A/N: Okay I know this is short but I wanted to get it up – seems there is a serious lack of M/L these days and people need some encouragement and hope. So I'll post this today and probably the next part tomorrow. As you will be able to tell this is where things start to take that change from S1. There is still going to be some angst and awkwardness coming but hopefully only that that is integral to the personalities and character of these two.

I'm a little surprised that Max is actually ringing the doorbell rather than just breezing in as she normally does but I head over towards the door. On the way I notice my phone and on impulse I reach over and switch off the sound. Any messages tonight can go straight to voicemail. For once I am going to give Max and myself some time just for us. No outside world interruptions. 

I open the door to see Max standing there looking beautiful as always. She smiles at me and I smile back and for a moment we just stand there somewhat awkwardly. If I need any further confirmation that tonight is different and that Max knows it as well, this is it. Collecting myself I motion her inside and towards the counter where the wine awaits us.

"Hang on a minute." I tell her as I go to the kitchen to switch on the broiler. That done and the timer set for 5 minutes I look back to see she has already poured two glasses of wine and perched herself at the counter.

After placing a couple of small plates on the counter along with some cocktail napkins I go back to the kitchen just the timer goes off. The cheese squares are perfectly toasted so I transfer them to a plate and finally head back to spend time with Max. She sniffs the treats appreciatively and I smile as she helps herself to one.

"Dinner won't be ready for a while so I thought you'd like something to hold you over." I explain smiling at her. She pops the square into her mouth and I swallow as she savors it before slowly swallowing. 

"Mmm. These are delicious, Logan. You know me too well." Gathering myself together I lift my wine glass in a toast and wait as she raises hers, looking at me curiously.

"To us Max. To everything we've already shared and to all the possibilities still open to us." Where did that come from I wonder as I raise my glass. She hesitates a moment then raises hers and gently touches it to mine. Our eyes meet over the rims as we drink and I am relieved to see that she doesn't seem rattled by my impulsive words. For a few minutes silence reigns as we sip the wine and munch on the food. 

"So how was your day?" I finally venture. Max shrugs and tells me a funny story about Normal and Sketchy ending with,

"…anyway I swear one of these days Normal is just plain going to lose it and kill him he is such a total airhead." I laugh and then there is silence as our eyes make contact I set my wine glass down and reach over to take Max's and set it on the counter. Still without breaking eye contact I lean down and our lips meet. She tastes like wine and cheese and I enjoy her sweetness for long minutes. Finally we break and both sit back on our chairs. I am silent allowing Max the next move.

"Logan. We need to talk about this." She doesn't sound upset, just unsure which I find both encouraging and endearing. I smile at her and reaching out take her hand in mine. Rising from the stool I stand and lead her over to the couch pulling her down to sit next to me. I don't release her hand once we are seated and she makes no move to pull it away. Things are definitely going even better than I had hoped.

"I'm listening Max." I tell her still letting her take the lead, sensing she needs to.

"About this, us. About…" she trails off and looks at me almost imploringly.

"About the kisses, Max?" She nods. "I've been attracted to you since we met. You know that. There's no mystery here. I'm attracted to you; you're attracted to me so we act on it. Nothing new, it's been happening since Eve ate that apple." I deliberately address only the physical aspect of what is going on. 

"I know that, Logan." Good she's getting impatient. "I'm not exactly 13 years old you know. I know what physical attraction is and how it works." She pauses but I remain silent. Not for nothing was I once an investigative reporter. "Damn it Logan is it only physical? What do you want from me? Do you want to fuck the genetically engineered super babe to see if she can blow out your brains? Is that what all this is about?"

"Is that what you think it's about, Max?" I ask her gently. She stares at me for a moment and laughs bitterly.

"Well I'm not exactly in a class with Valerie and Daphne and probably all of your prior girlfriends."

"No Max you aren't," I reply. I pause then go on, "You're in a class of your own. One they couldn't begin to approach in a million years. You're special Max. I knew that the first time I saw you." She stares at me and I can see in her eyes that she wants to believe me but is afraid to. "Who hurt you so badly, Max? Who made you feel that all you are is some body good for nothing but physical relief?" There is silence then she turns away from me and her words are so soft I can hardly hear them.

"Logan you don't understand about me. I'm different from other girls. I'm not normal." I laugh at her words.

"Max, I knew that when you went headfirst out of my window. Normal is boring. "

"No Logan its more than that. I mean you know about my mixed up DNA…" she stops and I wait for her to continue. She sits silently and then it comes out in a rush. "I have cat DNA Logan. Have you ever had a female cat? Have you ever seen them in their mating cycles?" She has finally managed to surprise me. I am silent a minute digesting what she has just said.

"Oh." Great response, Logan. "You mean you have cycles?" She nods miserably and I stop and think about what to say next. "Let me guess. You've hooked up with guys as a result of your cycles? And since that was all it was about to begin with, when your cycle was over they didn't get it? They never knew you did they, Max? Never cared about you." I hear the anger in my own voice as I realize what she has probably gone through. She is still looking away from me but her grip on my hand has tightened. I reach out with my free hand and gently turn her head to face me wanting her to see my eyes as I speak to her.

"Max I do know you. I know who you are and where you come from. I know the real person inside that super soldier façade you show the world. I want you physically, I'm not going to lie about that, but it's more than that. I've had the pure physical relationships and that's not what I'm about anymore." Her eyes are glistening with…tears? That's it I can't stand to see her cry. I reach out and pull her into my arms cuddling her against my chest. 

"Damn it don't cry on me. I didn't plan tonight to make you cry." At that she lets out a choked sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob and pulls back to look at me.

"Logan you can be such a dork sometimes. That's one of the things I …" She stops midsentence.

"You what?" 

"Nothing." She is silent and I realize now is not the time to push that point any further. She continues to look at me and something tells me the time for words is past.

__

A/N: **Please please please** if you guys like my fics – reward me by sending postcards to Fox and DA letting them know strongly that we need Logan back full force next season and that there is Nobody but Max and Logan. Thanks ! If you need the website address email me and I'll get it to you.


	4. Dinner

_AN:__ This is a slightly revised version of Chapter 4 – nothing major. Just some stylistic changes I made on reading it over._

_****_

Once again I lean towards her and our lips meet. This time my arms are around her, and I tighten them, pulling her close. Max doesn't resist and her arms come up around my neck as she opens her lips to let me in. This feels completely right to me, this is where I belong. For long moments we kiss and our tongues tangle, as we learn each others taste.

Max's hands are busy, one playing in my hair and the other stroking the back of my neck and shoulders gently. I am running my hands up and down her back relishing the feel of her close against me, feeling her body heat through the thin sweater she is wearing. Finally, no longer satisfied with simply feeling the soft silky material of her sweater, I reach down and slide my hands up underneath it spreading them across her spine, loving the feel of her smooth warm flesh. Max sighs softly into my mouth and presses closer to me. 

Somehow I am lying flat on the couch with Max sprawled on top of me. Feeling has returned to more than just my legs the last few days, and I am achingly aware of the heat of her pressed against my very definite arousal. Max notices as well, I can tell by the way she gently moves her hips, pressing herself closer and making me grow even harder. Our lips are still locked together and now I move one hand down to pull her even harder against me, while with the other I slide her sweater up. 

Max doesn't object but she suddenly breaks contact and lifting herself up, reaches down and pulls her sweater over her head, sending it flying as it comes off. She then proceeds to reach down to grasp the hem of my sweater, and I obligingly raise my hands so she can pull it over my head. That done, I reach behind her and unclasp her bra, then slide the straps down her arms.  In a short time. the rest of our clothes are discarded as well, and dinner is forgotten, as we finally come together, in the way I have dreamed about since the first time I saw her. 

Long minutes later, I realize I am probably crushing her with my weight and I start to roll off. Her arms tighten around me and she murmurs, "Don't go Logan. Stay with me." 

I raise my head to look at her face, shiny with sweat and flushed with the aftermath of passion. "I'm too heavy…" Before I can finish the sentence she rolls us over so that she is once again on top, keeping our bodies joined intimately. 

"Be quiet," she says as she lays her head on my chest. Reaching down I grope for the cotton throw that was on the couch but is now somewhere on the floor. Luckily it is within reach, and I shake it out and let it drift down on top of the two of us. Cocooned in our blanket we rest there content. I'm not sure how long we stay that way but suddenly I am brought to full consciousness by the insistent chiming of the oven.

Max is dozing, and I hate to disturb her but unless we want _Chicken a la Charcoal I need to turn off the oven. I gently roll Max off of me and not bothering with clothes head out to take care of the chicken. Removing it from the oven, I set the pan on the stove to cool and turn back to see Max sitting up watching me. _

"The naked Chef?" she quips with a raised eyebrow. I grin and bow feeling more lighthearted than I have in years. 

"At your service. Hungry?" I ask her. 

She smiles provocatively then runs her eyes up and down my body, "not only for food." 

Smiling back, I return the look and advance towards her. "If you insist…" I begin but she waves me off. 

"On second thought, that chicken smells wonderful and I haven't eaten since lunch." 

I give her a mock glare. "Cheese squares?" She giggles and shrugs her shoulder then rises slowly from the couch, stretching catlike, which has an immediate effect on me. She looks at me, then raises her eyebrows.

"Logan? Can we have some food first please?" Being naked has its disadvantages, and I glare at her as she laughs and heads off to the guest bathroom to wash up leaving her clothes where they landed earlier. Deciding I should do the same, I go to my room and after washing I don a pair of silk boxers and, after deliberating a moment, leave it at that. When I come back out I find that Max has availed herself of the extra clothes I keep in the guest room closet. She's wearing one of my silk shirts and nothing else. She has only buttoned a few buttons and the sleeves are rolled up which has the effect of making her look deliciously wanton. I want nothing more than to take her back to bed. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $100. Go directly to bed. 

Max reads my mind and shakes her head with mock severity,"food first." 

"If you insist," I return wondering why in hell we waited so long for this. We smile at each other and head to the kitchen. Max gets more wine and the salad I made earlier, as I slice the chicken and arrange it on a platter. Soon enough we are sitting at the table with the meal in front of us. Max has arranged our places next to each other, and as I pass her the food she leans over and gently bites my neck.

"I thought we were eating first?" I ask her. 

"Couldn't resist." she mumbles through a mouthful of chicken. "I've wanted to do that for ages."

I smile back at her and on impulse take a forkful of mashed potatoes and hold it up to her mouth. She smiles and opens and makes a production of sucking them off the fork then slowly swallowing them. I gulp feeling a growing hardness in my groin, along with a waning interest in eating. 

Knowing full well what she has just done to me, Max takes pity on me and offers me a bit of Italian bread dipped in olive oil. Deciding that turnabout is fair play I grab her wrist, and hold her hand to my mouth as she feeds me the bread.

"You've got oil on your fingers." Slowly, I take each one of her fingers in turn into my mouth and gently lick and then suck on them. Max gasps and I can feel her pulse increasing under my fingers on her wrist. When I finally release her hand, we sit and stare at each other dinner forgotten. 

I rise and hold out my hand and Max takes it letting me pull her up and lead her to my bedroom. Cleanup will wait, this is definitely more important.


	5. Talking

_AN: Slightly__ revised for some stylistic changes._

Max is exhausting, or maybe it's just that it's been a while for me. Even before the shooting I had been living a celibate life for some time. Random couplings held no interest for me. I went that route in college and afterwards, but that had begun to grow old to me about the time I met Val. Maybe that's the reason I convinced myself I loved her and married her. I was looking for something more and it seemed like she was someone I could find it with. That turned out to be a complete fiasco that left me feeling cynical and distrustful of most of the female sex 

After Valerie I buried myself in my work, retreating from the world of relationships and messy emotions. It was easier to devote myself to the good of humanity in the abstract. For a while some of my friends tried to get me to come out with them and I went through the usual rounds of blind dates and casual "fix-ups" before I finally put an end to it by telling them I had no time or interest. Then came the shooting, and all thoughts of sex fled my mind. 

Until Max started coming around that is. The physical attraction had been there from the beginning, even though I originally only planned to use it to hook her into helping Eyes Only. But the more I got to know her, the more I became aware of how much I wanted her. 

The past few months have been a planned assault on Max's defenses. Maybe my own experiences made me sensitive to it, but I've always known that moving too fast with Max would send her running. 

Tonight she certainly isn't going anywhere though. We're lying together here in my bed, both relaxed. I'm leaning back against the headboard, and Max is curled up against me drawing patterns on my chest with her finger, her face obscured by her hair. 

"Mmm this is nice, Logan." 

Is that a note of surprise in her voice? Curious I ask, "What's nice?" 

"This. Cuddling. Usually guys want to do this and all I want to do is leave and get home to take a shower. But it's different with you. It's…nice."

 I smile and drop a kiss on the top of her head. "Maybe because there's more between us than just sex, Max?" I ask her. She is quiet for a minute and then raises her head to look into my eyes. Max has the most incredible eyes I've ever seen. When I look into them it's as if I'm looking into her soul.

I don't understand this connection between the two of us. It's different from anything I've ever experienced with any other woman. It sounds corny but I believe that, in some deep elemental way, we are soul mates. I may not know everything she has done in her life, and she certainly doesn't know everything about me, but it doesn't matter. I know the essential Max – who she really is underneath it all, and I think she knows me; the me that I normally keep buried under my crusading hero persona.

"I don't know Logan. Things are different with you. I'm not sure why." Her voice is almost a whisper as she confesses, "I've been running from this for months but tonight I couldn't run anymore."

I hug her closer and reassure her, "I know. Me too." 

I hesitate a minute. Is it too soon? What happens if I push this just a little more? She hasn't run yet but she still could. I give myself a mental shake and remind myself that I promised myself to put it on the line tonight. Max leads a precarious existence, and I haven't exactly chosen the safest profession in the world. Anything could happen to either one of us tomorrow. Do I want to spend the rest of my life regretting what might have been? My shooting should have taught me that you need to seize the moment when it comes, because it may never come again. Lost in thought I become aware that Max is speaking again.

"Earth to Logan. Are you still here?" She is looking up at me curiously, and I am overcome by a rush of emotions as I look back down at her.

"Nowhere else, Max." My voice is husky, with nerves as she continues to look at me. She knows what I am about to say will change everything between us, I can tell, but she doesn't try to stop me, just waits. "I'm in love with you Max. I don't know how or when it happened but it did." I stop, out of words, and wait for her reaction. 

When it comes her voice is so soft I can barely hear it.

"Me too, Logan." 

Her words don't register for a few seconds because I am expecting something completely different to come out of her mouth. Something along the lines of "Gotta Blaze," followed by her jumping up and grabbing her clothes. When I realize what she has actually said, my heart seems to stop. I try to answer but all that will come out is her name.

"Max…"

I realize I am clutching her to me like a drowning man would a life preserver, and I relax my hold. I still can't find words so I lean down and kiss her gently and she responds in kind. For long minutes the kiss continues and somehow words aren't needed, as is so often the case between us. 


	6. Troubles Ahead

**_Disclaimer:__ Don't own them and don't make any money from them although the sense of satisfaction in helping keep these wonderful characters alive and kickin' ass is priceless. Not sure who does own them now but legally I suppose it's Fox and Mr. Cameron although I do wonder about the implications of abandonment… _**

**_A/N:__ I know it's been a long time since I've updated this and I apologize. Life in the form of DA's cancellation, the VS3 and my "real" life has intervened. Actually what happened is that I received a review of the story after all this time, and it inspired me to go on with it. _**

_This is the "R" rated version that you see here on ff.net. The NC17version is up at my website :  http://star24.freeservers.com/index.html. This chapter is the same for both so unless you want to read the NC17 for previous chapters you are fine reading here. _

_And__ if you want to see what else I've been doing lately check out the __Cape__Haven__ writers group Dark Angel VS3 at darkangelvirtuality.com_

* * * * *

Just when it seemed like everything was finally coming together, my life has once again come crashing down around me. Last night was probably the most incredible night of my life – I should have expected today to bring disaster. But I didn't.  

My day started on the best possible note I could have asked for. I was having a dream that Max was leaning over me, tickling my chest with her hair as she dropped butterfly kisses on my face. I opened my eyes and realized that my dream was reality, and when I did, Max smiled and leaned in for a serious kiss, which I was more than happy to supply. Things progressed nicely from there and it was least an hour before she sighed and stretched, before disengaging herself from my arms and sitting up. She's blessed with a supreme lack of modesty so I was in heaven, lying back and lazily enjoying the view of Max, sitting next to me in my bed, naked from the waist up.

"Normal'll have my ass if I don't get a move on and get to work," she commented idly, not seeming too concerned with the prospect. I reached out and traced a finger down her back, and she shivered slightly at my touch. 

"Or you could stay here and _I could have your ass?" I couldn't resist making the suggestion. She turned and gave me a mock frown._

"Greedy aren't you?"

"As far as you're concerned? Absolutely."  I grinned feeling more lighthearted than I have in …years I guess. 

"There's always tonight. But for now I think this little girl had better get her ass in gear and get to work." She suited her actions to her words and was out of my bed in one fluid movement. "Mind if I use your shower?"

"What's mine is yours," I smiled, meaning it, even though I was careful to keep my tone teasing.

"Better watch out…I might take you up on it." Our eyes met and I bit my tongue to keep from saying too much to her too soon. 

"As in I better watch the contents of my wardrobe very carefully? I noticed you eyeing some of my shirts …" At my teasing she laughed and then turned and gave me a playful swat before she headed off to shower. 

"You didn't seem to mind my wearing your shirt last night."

"Actually it was the removal of my shirt from you that I really enjoyed," I threw back at her. She just laughed as the bathroom door closed behind her. Sighing, I decided I might as well send her off to work with a full stomach so I got up and threw on some sweats, then headed for the kitchen. 

We had finished breakfast and Max was about to head out the door when she spotted the blinking light on my answering machine. 

"Looks like Eyes Only has some 'save the world' messages waiting," she teased. "You actually didn't take any calls last night? What if Armageddon had arrived while you were fooling around with 'some girl'?" 

I shrugged, "Eyes Only had other concerns last night. Even saving the world needs to take a backseat sometimes and you're more than 'some girl' to me. I thought I made that pretty clear last night." Max was quiet, and I have to admit that in the harsh light of day, the things we said last night seem to hold a heavier weight.

"Yeah, well I gotta blaze." Max was nervous, so to create a distraction I reached out and pressed the button on the answering machine. That's when everything went completely sideways. 

"Max? Max are you there? Max I need you…I'm in the woods outside of Manticore…I need your help…Max?..." Zack's voice filled the room, accusing us both with the desperation that was so clear in it. 

"Omigod…Logan…Zack" Max's voice sounded almost panicked. I'd never seen her in a panic before and I stood there nonplussed. "I've gotta go…I have to find him."

"Max. Hold on." I said, trying to keep things together; to prevent her from rushing off into what could easily be a trap Manticore had set for her. "What if this is a trap? What if he's been turned?" 

Max turned on me, eyes blazing, "You don't know Zack at all, do you? I owe him Logan, I have to go." She was on her way out the door but before she could leave, I reached out and slammed it closed holding my hand against it.

"I'm not letting you do this." Max stood there staring at me, anger in her eyes.

"Don't get me wrong Logan, there's no one happier than me to see you on your feet again but the fact is I can still kick your ass."  She pulled on the door but I refused to let her open it and she turned to me again.

"Logan you're not stopping me. If something happened to Zack last night while I was screwing around with you I'll never forgive myself."  'o_r you'  the unspoken words hung heavy between us.  Suddenly furious myself, I dropped my hand and stepped back letting her go._

* * * * *

It's been 10 hours since she left and there's been no word from her. Bling was here for a while but my mind wasn't on our session and I could tell he was getting impatient and annoyed with me.  I finally told him to go home and he left me standing here staring out the window wondering if I'll ever see Max again. 

I finally turned from the window to go and check the informant net - as if I'm really going to find anything that will help me with this situation there - and that's when the second blow fell.  My right leg suddenly went numb and gave out under me. I caught myself on the counter and it seems fine now, but I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach about this. 

So now all I can do is sit and wait to see if I hear from Max...


	7. Calm Before the Storm

_A/N: This is the "R" rated version of Doing Things Differently that you see here on ff.net. The NC17 version is up at my website: http://star24.freeservers.com/index.html. This chapter is the same for both so unless you want to read the NC17 for previous chapters you are fine reading here. _

_And if you want to see what else I've been doing lately check out the __Cape__Haven__ writers group Dark Angel VS3 at darkangelvirtuality.com_

* * * * * * * * * 

Max is back. 

I spent the day alternating between wondering if I would ever see her again, and thinking of ways I could go after her if she didn't return.  I was actually sitting at my computer trying to locate and hack into Manticore (or whatever name they now go by) in an attempt to find out what was happening, when I felt her presence and turned to see her standing there.

"It was a trick. Lydecker let him escape so he'd lead him to the others."

My heart dropped at her words and for a moment I half expected Lydecker to step around the wall holding a gun on her. Instead, as I rose to go to her, Zack strode into view. He stopped dead for a moment obviously startled to see me on my feet.

"Long story," I offered as my only explanation to him.  He shrugged and let it go; more concerned with the fact that Lydecker had tricked him into revealing the whereabouts of the other escapees.  I left him and Max to it for a while, not sure of how welcome any attempts to help might be. 

When Zack blew up at Max in frustration and stormed off I couldn't stay out of it any longer.  Going over to Max I found out that the problem was that Zack had made himself "forget" how to contact the others and warn them that they had been compromised.  The solution was obvious to me, but the look on Max's face when I offered to do an Eyes Only hack to warn her siblings made me feel about ten feet tall.

Eyes only just made himself another enemy," she warned me.

"It was getting a little quiet around here," I assured her, not caring at that moment if the entire western world declared Eyes Only their sworn enemy. 

The hack went perfectly and it seemed like everything was going to go off smoothly until Zack got a call from Tinga.  Lydecker had gotten to Portland before she got the word, and she was in trouble. To make a long story short I drove Zack and Max there and they were able to help her get away from his forces. 

We found a car for Zack and Tinga and soon enough they had it hot-wired and were ready to head to Canada. There was an awkward moment when Tinga expected Max to join them, and Zack threw in a sarcastic remark about miracles but Max took it in stride.  I have to admit I was relieved that she wasn't going, even though I knew that in all truth she probably should leave Seattle. If I was less selfish I would have forced her into that car with the other two, but then again, you can't force Max to do something she doesn't want to. 

The ride back to Seattle was silent for a long while. Max was deep in thought, probably about her all too brief reunion with another of her siblings, and I hesitated to disturb her.  I was still on a high, from a combination of her safe return and from the fact that she had chosen to stay in Seattle, so I concentrated on that, as well as on getting us back safely past any checkpoints.

"She was one of my "big sisters" you know," Max's sudden words caught me off guard.

"You mean Tinga?"  I wasn't sure where to go with this.

"Yeah. She's one of the older X5s, close to Zack's age." She paused, "I remember when I had seizures she'd sit with me, and once she climbed into my bed and held me until they stopped." Her voice was wistful, "I wish I could have spent some time with her."

"You could have gone with them."

Max's voice was soft yet fierce, "You know I wouldn't do that. Not now."

"Zack's right. Seattle isn't safe for you."  

"The world isn't safe for me, Logan. I have a life and friends in Seattle and I'm not giving them up.

I don't want to run anymore." 

"I know." I waited a beat and when she didn't respond I added, "I'm glad you're staying."  She didn't answer but instead reached over and took my hand in hers. The rest of the ride was silent but it was a comfortable silence, and in a way I would have been happy for the trip never to end.

When we got back to Seattle and pulled into the parking garage it was late.  Max's motorcycle was parked in a corner and I glanced over at it. 

"Want to come up?" 

Max shrugged, "it's up to you. I don't need sleep but if you're tired…" I smiled and took her hand and pulled her toward the elevator.  The ride up was short and soon enough we were inside my apartment.  When I closed the door and turned back to Max she was just standing there looking at me. 

I couldn't wait any longer to do what I had wanted to since the moment she had returned safely, and in seconds I had her in my arms and was drowning myself in her.  Long moments later I broke our kiss to take a breath, and, keeping her close, I rested my chin on the top of her head. 

She gave me moment to recover before she pulled back enough to look at me. "Missed me?" her tone was teasing and she was smiling. 

"Damn right I did." I looked down at her. "You scared the hell out of me."

"I had to go, Logan."  

Max wasn't giving an inch on this one and I sighed.  "Yeah, I know." That was enough – sometimes I do know when to quit, and this was an argument I could tell I wasn't going to win. Max smiled, and reached up to pull me back down for another long kiss. Things progressed from there and we made our way to my bedroom in a very short while. 

Maybe it was a result of my relief and Max's lingering adrenaline high from Tinga's rescue but our lovemaking was fiercer and more passionate than it had been yet. Max made it clear she didn't want gentleness from me and after minimal foreplay I was plunging into her hot, welcoming depths. It was hard and hot and fast, and I barely lasted past Max's climax.  Once I felt her convulse around me I let go and I came with an intensity that matched hers. Finished, I pulled her close to me and amazingly enough she didn't protest but curled up against my side as we both fell asleep.


End file.
